Not too long ago I asked to have a meeting with one of my students (lets call him Timmy) and his parents. Timmy is a teenager, has been training with me for a few years and was an advanced level student. He was a natural athlete and normally he excelled in the classes, but recently I had noticed that he was struggling. He had trouble remembering parts of the curriculum and I could tell it was taking a toll on him. I figured a little student/instructor communication would hope put him on the right path.
As we talked during the meeting Timmy admitted to having challenges keeping up with what he was learning in class. His parents also told me that there has been recent talk about him quitting. Timmy’s parents very much wanted him to continue training, but were not sure how to keep him motivated. It was very clear that he had hit “THE WALL”. That time during everyone’s training that they struggle. It was obvious his parents wanted me to give them “the answer” that would fix everything.
After a few more minutes I asked Timmy - “Once you realized you were struggling, what did you do about”? He looked at me sideways for a second. “Did you start practicing at home? Did you try to attend more classes? Did you ask for help?”. I explained to him that we are all responsible for our own improvement. While it is great that he comes to class every so often it is also up to him to put effort into his training. And if he needs help, he should should do his best to ask for help from the people around him.
I have seen this many times over my martial arts career. Students expect to show up to class, put in minimal effort, and then become proficient. Once they realize that it doesn’t work like that, they quit. Just like the act joining a gym is not going to make you more fit, just going to martial arts class every once and awhile is not going to make you a black belt. At a certain point you have to show up and give it your all to see the real benefit.
Martial arts, like many things in this world, presents you with a series of challenges that you must work to overcome. If you work hard at it, and ask for help along the way, many times you will conquer that challenge and be a better person because of it. I challenge you, in this world of immediate gratification, to put real effort into your self-improvement. Don’t look for one person or thing to give you that quick fix. Whatever you want to do, go for it with everything you have. When it gets hard and you hit that wall (and lets face it, you will) smash through it with everything you have. The experience that comes from it will last you the rest of your life.
Oh yeah... and after helping him develop an action plan Timmy is still training and doing better than ever!
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