I have many little “sayings” that I use to help guide me as I teach and help the assistants that I train. I almost look at them as rules. If I stay true to them, they will always point me in the right direction when I have to decide how to approach a certain situation. One in particular that I was recently reminded of is: “I am not who I think I am. I am not who YOU think I am. I am who I think, you think I am”. Yes, it may get your brain going.
I have a student (lets call her Sarah). Sarah is 9 and has been training with me for a number of years now. During a vacation with her family she decided that she wanted to continue learning how to snowboard. She did fairly well, but after a day of falling and picking herself back up, she was physically and emotionally exhausted. On her last run her parents noticed she was slowly crying her way down the hill. Remembering a “Mat Chat” I had with the students one day about “Hitting the Wall” (Also Separate Post), Sarah’s mom went over to her and said:
"This reminds me of Sensei's mat chat about hitting a wall. You're tired, you've worked hard learning to snowboard all day, you’re cold - it's like hitting that wall Sensei was talking about. He said, 'we all hit walls from time to time but it's how you respond to it that defines your character”. She leaned in softly and said, "this isn't who you are"
She gave her a hug and skied ahead, giving Sarah some time to let it sink in. As Sarah caught up to her mom she took her time, carving some cautious but nice turns and no longer crying. She made it safely down the hill with her head held high, proud of all she accomplished that day.
Sarah’s-Mother’s response, in my opinion, could not have been more perfect. That last line “this isn’t who you are” was key! By hearing someone she trusts say that, it helped her find that belief in herself that she could, indeed, push through.
We all know that people can be their own worst enemy. No matter how hard they try to avoid it, doubt, frustration, fear, and other negative emotions can sink in during those most stressful times. It is during those times that people look to others for guidance (even if they won’t admit it). They want to be shown that these emotions they are feeling are not totally true. It is those times when remembering that saying comes in handy. When you are working with someone (student, child, employee) during a challenging time, keep that saying in mind.
They way people think you perceive them can have a huge impact on their ability to overcome life’s challenges.
I know that if I can show my students how much I believe in them, they will be able to achieve amazing things.
