Taken in large part from my Mentor Tom Callos:I can’t think of anything meaningful to say in the aftermath of a shooting that left 20 children dead at the hands of a madman. I can’t think of any way that we can stop someone who is so intent on hurting others, regardless of the reason.
I do, however, feel like I can make a comment on violence, in general - as I think it is important that I look deeply about how I, as a martial arts teacher, teach others about using violence to solve problems.
I think that we, sometimes (as I know I have on occasion) glorify the warrior. The person that uses martial arts (or violence in general) to seek revenge and/or justice on other living beings. In fiction it is often warranted or justified, and the audience gets to fulfill their need to see the “bad guys” get what they deserve. We sometimes promote violence, we promote the aggressive posturing, the mimicking of our movie-heroes, and we teach kids to kick others in the groin, punch them in the face, to grimace and yell and lift their hands in victory when they've vanquished their imaginary enemies.
I think it's often innocent enough, the way we teach kids to use violence to win, to solve problems, and to come out on top ---but when faced with real violence, with the consequences of it all -- what do we say then?
I believe I owe it to my students and my community to teach the students about peace, about compassion, and about respect for others (to treat others as we ourselves would like to be treated).
I will try to make sure that when I perform, when I create scenarios for our young people to engage in, that I temper the work with wisdom about the destructive force that violence put upon others can be. And I will be careful not to glorify the imaginary victories of the man or woman who kicks, punches, stabs, or shoots his/her way to victory.
Overall, I promise to look deeply on how I teach and how it relates to the real world.
Thank you for this, for the idea that we all must "look deeply" at how we act, what we think and assume, and what we expose our children to. In my opinion, I don't think it is ever "innocent" to "teach kids to use violence to win, to solve problems, and to come out on top." I have always had a very strict no guns, no toy guns (not even water guns), no games with guns, no gun play in my house and with my children. People have looked at me as if I was taking it all too seriously when I explained these rules, but I think we should never send the message that pretending to use a gun and to kill someone is a fun game.
ReplyDeleteI do believe that most parents don't see it (playing with toy guns and roughhousing) as a big deal. Like many kids (especially boys), I grew up with toy nerf guns, playing lazer tag, and wrestling around. Sometimes when someone got hit we would say "you are dead, I got you". We didn't really grasp the real meaning of what we were saying. And like many kids I think (I hope haha) I turned out OK. However, with my father being a police officer, I was made very aware at a pretty early age of what true violence was and what it could do to people. I was also fortunate enough that my mother talked to me about constructive ways to handle extreme emotions. Martial arts was also a major factor in my emotional well being.
DeleteIn the end, parents may raise their children any way they wish. There is also no "one size fits all" approach. I just think it is important that we make sure that we look closely at each child and don't ignore warning signs. While violent video games and toy guns may not effect some, I believe it has the potential to exacerbate the behavior of a child that may have more violent tendencies. I think it is important that if parents are going to allow their children to engage in "violent" playtime, that they have a responsibility to look closely at their child's personality and/or,at the very least, have a serious conversation about what real violence is and that it is not the way they should look to solve life's problems.
Well said. Thank you for the dialogue. And, yeah, as far as I can tell, you turned out okay! Peace and blessings to you and yours. See you at the dojo!
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