What Alabama and the Build-vention means to me (and you)

Ms. Georgia's Current Home (Back)

Ms. Georgia's Current Home (Front)

From April 10th-14th there will be an event like no other in the martial arts community. Myself and some students will meet diverse group of martial artists, most of us have never met in person, but we will gather in Greensboro Alabama to take our work out of the dojo and into the world. Greensboro is located in Hale County and is one of the poorest counties in the US. We will partner with H.E.R.O housebuilding. We will help an elderly woman by the name of Ms. Georgia Woods, and give her a well-built, energy efficient home filled with love and respect. While this is the 10th year it will be held, it will be my first year attending, and I can't wait!

To me, this event is a demonstration of what the Martial Arts is really about. Martial art schools frequently talk about kindness, compassion, service, and leadership. We encourage our students to push themselves outside their comfort zone so that they can grow as people. But how many actually walk their talk? How many “Master Instructors” not only fail to demonstrate the values they preach, but also contradict them in the way they run their schools? Too many in my opinion.

Everyday we will train martial arts, build, and be inspired. We will discuss how to design intelligent curriculum, how to prevent child abuse, and how to promote positive change in our communities.  We will leave there with ideas on how to make the martial arts more than what it currently is, and more than anyone expects. Essentially, we will walk our talk.

We need your help! Each school going must raise money to contribute to building materials for the project. Every dollar raised goes towards the project, not a single person is being paid for their time. We are all there to contribute our minds and bodies to something that can make a lasting impact for everyone involved.

If you can donate even just a little: Click Here

Offline donations can be sent to: Revolution Martial Fitness, 28 Main st, Natick Ma 01760

If we all do a little it can add up to a lot. Can you give up your morning stimulant for a few days? Can you eat at home instead of at a restaurant a little more often? Can we come together as a school, as a community, and give someone a gift that will change their life? I hope so! Because if we can learn to come together to make an impact, the possibilities are endless.

I Am Who, I think, You Think I Am

I have many little “sayings” that I use to help guide me as I teach and help the assistants that I train. I almost look at them as rules. If I stay true to them, they will always point me in the right direction when I have to decide how to approach a certain situation. One in particular that I was recently reminded of is: “I am not who I think I am. I am not who YOU think I am. I am who I think, you think I am”. Yes, it may get your brain going.

I have a student (lets call her Sarah). Sarah is 9 and has been training with me for a number of years now. During a vacation with her family she decided that she wanted to continue learning how to snowboard. She did fairly well, but after a day of falling and picking herself back up, she was physically and emotionally exhausted. On her last run her parents noticed she was slowly crying her way down the hill. Remembering a “Mat Chat” I had with the students one day about “Hitting the Wall” (Also Separate Post), Sarah’s mom went over to her and said:

"This reminds me of Sensei's mat chat about hitting a wall.  You're tired, you've worked hard learning to snowboard all day, you’re cold - it's like hitting that wall Sensei was talking about.  He said, 'we all hit walls from time to time but it's how you respond to it that defines your character”.  She leaned in softly and said, "this isn't who you are"

She gave her a hug and skied ahead, giving Sarah some time to let it sink in.  As Sarah caught up to her mom she took her time, carving some cautious but nice turns and no longer crying.  She made it safely down the hill with her head held high, proud of all she accomplished that day.

Sarah’s-Mother’s response, in my opinion, could not have been more perfect. That last line “this isn’t who you are” was key! By hearing someone she trusts say that, it helped her find that belief in herself that she could, indeed, push through.

We all know that people can be their own worst enemy. No matter how hard they try to avoid it, doubt, frustration, fear, and other negative emotions can sink in during those most stressful times. It is during those times that people look to others for guidance (even if they won’t admit it). They want to be shown that these emotions they are feeling are not totally true. It is those times when remembering that saying comes in handy. When you are working with someone (student, child, employee) during a challenging time, keep that saying in mind.

They way people think you perceive them can have a huge impact on their ability to overcome life’s challenges.

I know that if I can show my students how much I believe in them, they will be able to achieve amazing things.

Violence: As It Relates To My Role as a Martial Arts Teacher

Taken in large part from my Mentor Tom Callos:

I can’t think of anything meaningful to say in the aftermath of a shooting that left 20 children dead at the hands of a madman. I can’t think of any way that we can stop someone who is so intent on hurting others, regardless of the reason.

I do, however, feel like I can make a comment on violence, in general - as I think it is important that I look deeply about how I, as a martial arts teacher, teach others about using violence to solve problems.

I think that we, sometimes (as I know I have on occasion) glorify the warrior. The person that uses martial arts (or violence in general) to seek revenge and/or justice on other living beings. In fiction it is often warranted or justified, and the audience gets to fulfill their need to see the “bad guys” get what they deserve.

We sometimes promote violence, we promote the aggressive posturing, the mimicking of our movie-heroes, and we teach kids to kick others in the groin, punch them in the face, to grimace and yell and lift their hands in victory when they've vanquished their imaginary enemies.
I think it's often innocent enough, the way we teach kids to use violence to win, to solve problems, and to come out on top ---but when faced with real violence, with the consequences of it all -- what do we say then? 
I believe I owe it to my students and my community to teach the students about peace, about compassion, and about respect for others (to treat others as we ourselves would like to be treated).
I will try to make sure that when I perform, when I create scenarios for our young people to engage in, that I temper the work with wisdom about the destructive force that violence put upon others can be. And I will be careful not to glorify the imaginary victories of the man or woman who kicks, punches, stabs, or shoots his/her way to victory.

Overall, I promise to look deeply on how I teach and how it relates to the real world.

Making 2013 the best year ever for Revolution Martial Fitness

As we approach the New Year I have been reflecting on 2012. Every year since the school opened it has grown. In many ways, however, it is not where I want it to be (will it ever be? haha). What I am doing is reflecting on the many aspects of how the school is run and rating them on a 1-10 scale. Now I may be too hard on myself to ever rate anything a 10, but I am going to do my best to push to that level. What I am doing with this post is making a public commitment to improve these things in my school. If you are a family that is enrolled in the school, this will serve as a list of things to come. It is my goal to not only be the best school in the area, but a shining example to other schools industry of what a martial arts school can/should be.

1) The release of the “Digital Dojo”

This will be the online/members only campus for the school.  This will be an ever growing, ever evolving resource site. The physical curriculum will be listed on there with descriptions and eventually videos. There will be recommended practice schedules, healthy eating tips and recipes, and anything else which may serve our students in their journey to become the person they want to be.

2) A re-evaluation of how the curriculum is taught and students are promoted

Please note that this does not mean an actual change in the techniques taught. Just how students are progressed through the system. While I feel it works right now, to a certain degree, it is worth looking at. It is my goal to make sure that I am setting all the students up to succeed as much as possible. Also, while I like the testing process, I would actually love to allow spectators during the tests. For some of you that have busy schedules, it is the only time you may get to see your child train. I would love to have kids bring their parents/friends/teachers, whoever! But the lack of a large waiting area makes this unrealistic. My evaluation may result in no change whatsoever, but I am working with my mentors to figure out something that may work better for my school and the students.

3) A more systematized Character Building/Life Skills Program

Any of you that have been with me for any length of time know how important, to me, the mental side of the martial arts is. It is something that I feel adds great value to the program and, in many ways, crucial to well rounded self-defense training. By systemizing I mean planned out way in advance so we can make sure our messages are consistent and that parents can choose to support it at home if they are so inspired. This will eventually be complete with printouts and videos in our “Digital Dojo”

4) An efficient attendance tracking system

No, we don’t have one. It is in my head mostly and it is taking up major brain power haha! This has also been the biggest challenge to figure out. With the limited space a scan card system is out of the question. Plus, making sure kids scan in is not a reliable solution. The main goal of the system will be to give superior student service. It will better help me realize how the students are progressing, how often they are coming to class, and how to best serve them in their journey to black belt.

5) A focus on extra staff and staff training

I love teaching! I always will. But I know that I can not do this forever (though I will try!). With that said, I realize I know I am no good to anyone if I am burnt out. I wear many hats in this dojo and sometimes it keeps me from being at my best for those who need it. There are many things I want to add (Demo team, Competition Team, Women Empowerment Program, and the list goes on) to the school, but I can not do so on top of my current responsibilities. I also feel it is my responsibility to look for my eventual replacement. Should something ever happen to me, I would want for the school go on and provide an amazing program for the Natick community. Right now, I am developing a comprehensive Teachers In Training program and will be looking for solid people to staff both the back end the mat and support everything that we do at the school. If you are interested in being part of the team in any way, please let me know.

6) A Concentration on my Education

I do my best to only speak on things that I know about/have experience in. While I do not always reveal my personal stories, talks about health, fitness, perseverance, effort, etc. spawn out of my own research and reflection on the experiences I have had in my life. When I talk about bullying or “Stranger Danger” it is because I have done my own research. I refuse to be an instructor who will buy the curriculum, read the scripts, but not really have even one term paper worth of knowledge on the subject (Something that is rampant in the industry). I will work to continue my education on subjects like: anger-management, child development, health and fitness, and a range of other topics that are what, I feel, are so important to the subject of self-defense.

In Conclusion

This is ,of course, in addition to constantly striving to teach great classes and giving great day to day service. I am sure the path to fulfilling all of the above will be fraught with its own challenges (and hopefully rewards). But you rarely grow from doing anything easy. I am excited to have you all on this journey with me and I promise I will do everything in my power to make your experience here at RMF something you will cherish for years to come.

Are we suffering from "Bully Burnout"?

It seems over just the last 5 years or so that the issue of bullying has gotten a lot of attention. Especially with the development of technology and social media that allows potential targets less reprieve from the people that would harass them.  Even more so after some teen suicides were being directly linked to bullying and cyber bullying. A lot of organizations (martial arts school especially) have really jumped on the issue. However, I am starting to feel we are now going overboard. It seems we are harping on the issue of bullying so much that people are getting tired of hearing about it. I also wonder if we are focusing on the wrong issue. Or at the very least, promoting our education as “anti-bullying” or “bullyproofing” is causing people to tune us out. I mean, bullying behavior is often times a byproduct of something else going on in the bully’s life right? Do we really have to talk about bullying to stop bullying?

Lets think about what may cause someone to bully. It could be low self-esteem, anger problems, poor role-models at home (siblings or parents)  and/or in the media, peer pressure, and worst case, sociopathy. I think we also tend to treat the victim with pity and the bully with disdain when they are both just people who need guidance. Plus the line between bullier and bullyee is very small. The child who is the bully at school could be getting bullied by others elsewhere.

I remember going into the local high school to sit in on one of the many talks they were giving about bullying over the year. More than a few kids said something to the effect of “Great! (sarcastically) another talk about bullying”. These kids were already tuned out before they walked in. As I sat there I noticed many kids were doing a lot of things, but it wasn’t listening. Maybe if the message was a bit different, say, the value of kindness, more kids would have been open to what the speaker had to say.

I do feel there's value in education about how to recognize and deal with a bullying scenario from all angles. But teaching kindness, emotional control, how to choose and cultivate healthy friendships, how to lead positively by example (some parents need this), and helping to increasing confidence is a way to combat bullying too. It may also just cause people to open their minds a little bit more on what we have to say. And lets face it, it won’t look like you are just trying to jump on the bullying bandwagon.